Wouldn’t it be marvellous to have an internet dating site where stage-struck writers can be put in touch with actors? Here’s how it might look. “Former BBC journalist, now a rapidly and visibly ageing writer, increasingly anxious to be performed before it’s too late, with passably GSOH, looking for long-term relationship, WLTM talented amateur actors with a view to having his scripts read. Maybe more.

Here’s just three of my full-length scripts:

Darling Deborah (London may be burning but even as the flames draw nearer Sam Pepys can’t stop chasing his wife’s maid around the house, with his wife failing to understand his need for extra-marital pleasuring).

Frequently Asked Questions (The search for extra-terrestrial intelligence seems to be over – but can this lout really be their representative?)

Tresses (The doomed romance of two of the most celebrated Pre-Raphaelites, a painter and his model, comes to a macabre climax in a scene of gothic melodrama in the grounds of Highgate Cemetery.)

Or what about my six one-acters?

All Hallow’s Eve (Local priest Hugh’s doubts about his faith are finally confronted during a strange happening in his own churchyard on a special night of the year.)

Falling Apart (Trapped in the lift of their solicitor’s office after finalising their divorce, a bickering couple are forced to think again about their marriage. )

Knock, Knock, Who's There? (Is there a poltergeist at large or do a pensioner couple simple want to get a transfer from their high-rise flat?)

Voices (A veteran of the Normandy landings finds himself trapped in his own flat, facing an imagined enemy.)

Mummy’s Boy (Increasingly fearful of his domineering wife, Graham comes up with a deadly plan to be free of her - based on his knowledge of an infamous Victorian murder trial.)

Tsunami (A high-flying executive believes he has been invited for an interview for an important job but it becomes clear the interview is not what it seems.)

To buy, see Lazy Bee Scripts + Peter Harrison.”