![](https://www.sardinesmagazine.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/Hannah-Whyte-The-Nutcracker-The-Turbine-Theatre-Photo-credit-Danny-Kaan-2412-jpg.webp)
Show: The Nutcracker
Society: Turbine Theatre, The
Venue: The Turbine Theatre. Arches Lane, Nine Elms, London c
Credits: Written by Joshua Coley
Type: Sardines
Author: Paul Johnson
Performance Date: 03/12/2023
The Nutcracker
Paul Johnson | 06 Dec 2023 00:08am
Photo: Danny Khan
This show, written by Joshua Coley, just isn’t very funny I’m sorry to say. The title may well be the best thing going for it. Coley has mysteriously joined the cast at the last minute after Amy Anzel – who had been announced in the cast last week, pulled out of the entire run due to illness. Anzel posted on social media: “** UPDATE: Sadly I had to pull out of the show due to illness. I’m gutted, but one’s health has to always come first. Wishing the cast a fabulous run! I’m very much looking forward to seeing it! Excited for this one…going to be a very merry (and dirty) Christmas!” Convinced? Me neither. We may never know exactly what has gone on behind closed doors, but another person I didn’t manage to see at press night at all was The Turbine Theatre’s Artistic Director, Paul Taylor-Mills. I have been assured he was there although, as mentioned, I didn’t see him.
Despite Anzel’s statement, I’m not sure that this production is actually dirty enough. It’s sraolinr reads: “A Very Adult Pantomime” but the famously bawdy Carry On… films of the 60s and 70s were arguably ‘dirtier’. The best scene involves Theo Walker and Grace Whyte impersonating a couple of Americans from ‘The Valley’… Emilia Clarke stylee (just ‘YouTube ‘it). The other half of the cast, namely Holly Ashman and Joshua Coley, didn’t double as much but, as mentioned, the entire quartet gave it their all – which makes it such a shame that it wasn’t very funny.
Pantomime is for kids and families. take them away and you might end up in a complete mess. Like, why leave the ‘ghost’ scene in? When you ask: “You will tell us if you see anything scary, won’t you?” …to be met with a wall of deathly silence until a few brave souls save the scene by shouting out collectively, surely these moments should be ironed out during rehearsals. I didn’t laugh once, let alone join in. If you’re interested in the plot, it is billed as: “Carly had a terrible year: her love rat ex has ghosted her, her father died in a collision with a Just Stop Oil protest and now her Mum is insistent on still throwing their annual festive party. A typical year in the 2020’s some may say, but thanks to a prezzie from her inappropriate, local drunk uncle – this Christmas will be anything but typical!” but, I’m very sorry to say, I lost all interest.